Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
