Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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