i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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