thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize