I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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