Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
