Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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