Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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