hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
