at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
