He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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