He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
