she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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