Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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