Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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