You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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