I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
