It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
