Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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