Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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