I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
