i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
COCAINE IS GR8
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
