Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
