CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
