sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
