If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
