disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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