who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
