By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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