After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
