Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Come on in and take your pants off
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