i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
