fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
