The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My vagina is very pro this idea
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
