one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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