Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
