Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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