hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
