Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
