I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
