shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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