Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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