I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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