I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
