Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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