I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
40s are totally the cure
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
