Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i now understand why vodka
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
