So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
