Are we in a gay sports bar?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
