Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
