At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
