Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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