I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm getting married
To pizza
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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