ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
