I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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