you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
