just come out here and I will go home with you...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
