i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
