this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
