Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
