nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
