were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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